When most 20-somethings have dating questions, they call a single friend. A few might call their moms. But what if your “person” is a 60+ guy who also happens to be your dad?
When most 20-somethings have dating questions, they call a single friend. A few might call their moms. But what if your “person” is a 60+ guy who also happens to be your dad?
When I first moved to New York, I was that girl who checked in with Mom back at home most nights; she was hilarious and witty and always interested in my day. Plus, she had stage IV cancer, and therefore a lot of mother-daughter wisdom to impart. Those calls were among the most open of my life. With time against us, we were oddly free with our stories and advice.
The phone calls stopped a few weeks after my 23rd birthday, when my mother died of breast cancer at the age of 56. She left behind two daughters... and her husband of more than 30 years.
For a while, neither Dad nor I felt much like picking up the phone.
Then, two years after we lost Mom, I was home for Christmas and saw Match.cominstalled on Dad’s phone.
Uh... Dad? Are you... online dating?
That conversation was among the least open of my life.
A few days later, though, I caught him sitting in the living room, laughing at something on his iPad.
What?
Nothing.
Seriously? What is it?
You have to see this pic.
Dear reader, it was not pretty. While I was not prepared for this dark glimpse into online dating profile pics for the 60+ set (let’s just say there were some, uh, questionable props involved), a strange question formed in my brain:
Dad, what does your profile look like?
A beer (or three) later, we had revamped his profile pictures (puppy photo, yes; woman with her arm around you in profile pic; no) and “about me” section (yes, Dad, using the wrong “their” is a deal breaker at any age). I returned from Christmas break feeling like I had helped Dad get closer to moving on with his life... and with the realization that I needed to reexamine certain parts of mine.
Slowly, Dad began calling me with online dating updates. At first, I was appalled. Then, fascinated. Then — horror of horrors — I found myself calling him for advice. When I got over the initial mental terror, I realized he was kind of perfect for the job:
He knows who I am when I’m 100 percent myself; I can’t fool him into thinking I want or am something I’m not.
He has seen me cry and knows when it’s over something that will make me stronger or just a waste of my time.
He has successfully survived the dating scene in his 20s (and landed quite a catch, in my opinion).
He has my best interest at heart, because if this guy becomes my family, he becomes Dad’s family, too.
Not every man I go out with gets the Dad treatment (and because I know you’re thinking it, no, my sex life is off-limits). But here’s the thing: My dad found the love of his life, lost her, and was able to put himself out there again after 30 years, a good deal of pain and allow himself to love again. Here are seven things my father taught me about love:
Read the full post on The Huffington Post.